Ruminated Reflections

Islamic Calendar

ruminatedreflection — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:46:48 +0000

Review: “Good Night, and Good Luck”

ruminatedreflection — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:19:00 +0000

Good Night, and Good Luck is a behind the scenes portrayal of what Edward R. Murrow and the CBS staff risked to fight the good fight against Senator Joseph McCarthy and his witch hunt. Despite the fear of retaliation from the higher echelons of government, Murrow plainly unfolded the shroud of secrecy that enabled McCarthy to terrorize and annihilate individual’s reputations and the freedoms set forth by the Constitution of the United States. It reflects journalism in its finest hour; when two staffers are willing to pay the advertisement costs in order to present the American public with the truth so that they may conclude their own judgments and not be forced to accept the status quo. This movie is a reminder that “history will take its revenge and retribution will not limp in catching up with us,” for “history is what we make it.”

Due to Murrow’s journalistic integrity, one man, Milo Radulovich, was reinstated into the Air Force after being removed due to accusation that he was a commie because his father’s supposed misdeeds. This incident highlights the ability of the media to sway the people in favor of the journalist’s opinions. However, if the viewing audience was one that did not just accept the views presented, but took those views and weighed them against the information they lifted from other reliable sources, then the influence would not be that of mindless drones obeying but rather of enlightenment. This is hardly ever the case in America, although it may very well have been in the 1950’s… before television was so invasive in our daily lives that there is little time for investigating much less thinking.

CBS decided to cancel the show See It Now due to the hubbub that it stirred when it put Senator McCarthy on the hotplate. The reasons are left to circumspect conclusions; however it is more likely due to pressure from the advertisers who lobby the politicians for a vote in their favor regarding legislation that has an impact on their businesses and ultimately their bottom lines. In turn the advertisers do not want to be affiliated with any program that has politicians in their line of fire. The politics of making money determines what viewers will be allowed to see and what they will not. Even still, is the undeniable truth that most television programming lacks any substance and numbs the minds of the masses to preoccupy their mental capacities and divert them from intellectually stimulating endeavors; which reinforces their slavery in capitalistic society.

Today, if NBC were to cancel Meet the Press or CBS were to cancel 60 minutes, some people would respond in kind setting pen to paper in a letter writing campaign, others would blog stimulating discussion and still others would use it to spark interesting dinner conversation, but the numbers would probably not be high enough to warrant any change in modus operandi. Unfortunately for our nation, the concern of truth in broadcasting rests with our older generations while the youth of our nation is entangled in gossip and sensationalism decaying their minds. Yet, our citizens that fall between these two extremes have been burnt by Bush’s decry of WMD in Iraq and his incessant lies that led to an unwarranted war against a people’s religion, not their supposed crimes against United States.

It may very well be possible that people today would rally against a media whose voice was hushed in the name of disdainful isolation. If such cancellation were to happen today, there would be those, having become cynical, would quietly resign to the fact that this is not the first time intelligent discourse has been silenced and reflect on the absurd amount of mindless rhetoric that is offered the American people, but be too tired for action. If such a program of the same stature as See It Now were cancelled today after they “threw stones at giants”, I can only pray that it would open the eyes of the American public to the agenda of the mass media conglomerates and those who pad their pockets.

Murrow’s journalistic bravery set a precedent that a journalist bent on exposing the truth can survive the hunt of those who propose “heretical and even dangerous ideas” in our society. He philosophized that it was not only his “desire, if not (his) duty to try to talk… in candor” knowing that “history will be what we make it.” Murrow gave us the permission to expect and demand honest journalism no matter how disturbing it may be to our government officials. With his expose of McCarthy, he propounded that we do not sit idly by waiting our turn at the guillotine, but to remove the shackles from our minds and establish our “recourse to justice.”

Murrow came into journalism from humble beginnings as President of the student organization at University of Washington where he was able to convince CBS to launch a program, “A University of the Air”, where Murrow was able to attract Albert Einstein and the then President of Germany to appear. Murrow made his leap into journalism in 1937 covering the brewing World War II. He reported on the occupation of Austria, the blitzkrieg, the Battle of Britain and the atrocities of the Nazi death camps affording him fame and respect stateside.

Murrow covered history through recordings entitled I Can Hear It Now and then made weekly radio newscasts through Hear It Now. From the success of these, came the television news program See It Now, where Murrow put an end to McCarthy’s rampage with a program that debunked McCarthy using his own words and footage that Murrow had collected since the suicide of his friend who was accosted by McCarthy’s allegations that he was a commie. After the March 9, 1954 show aired, his relationship with CBS became strained although he was still able to pull off an outstanding legislative reforming broadcast on Thanksgiving 1960 regarding migrant farm workers and the hardships they faced. In 1961, Murrow retired from CBS and accepted a position from John F. Kennedy as director of the U.S. Information Agency. He remained with the agency until his battle with lung cancer forced him to retire.

According to one commenter of Murrow, “honesty takes courage.” Edward R. Murrow had such courage when facing the giants. He aptly showed us Americans that “we are currently wealthy, fat, comfortable and complacent” and that due to our “built in allergy to unpleasant or disturbing information” that the historians of the future will merely find “evidence of decadence, escapism and insulation from the realities of the world in which we live.” Murrow attempted to mobilize the American public to “get off our fat surpluses and recognize the television and the main (is) being used to distract, delude, amuse and insolate us” and that we must use the television to “teach”, “illuminate”, and “inspire”; for “otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box.” He warned us that if we are not “determined to use it (television) towards those ends” that enlighten a nation that we will “see a totally different picture too late.”

Lonna jo

Sources:

Good Night, and Good Luck.

http://www.pbs.org/wnet/americanmasters/episodes/edward-r-murrow/this-reporter/513/

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0615386/bio

http://statelibrary.ncdcr.gov/nc/bio/literary/murrow.htm

Are you being wagged?

ruminatedreflection — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 15:14:53 +0000

Wag the Dog, raises many questions as whether or not our government would create a war in order to cover behavior unbecoming our leaders. I am not sure what to believe; is this movie satirical? I hope so, yet perhaps the conspiracy theory side of me believes that our government would in fact resort to any means necessary to keep the American public in a state of confusion.

The fact that President Clinton himself admitted that he ordered the military to bomb Afghanistan and Sudan just days after his scandal hit the news line adds merit to the idea that our government is willing to kill in order to save face. It is all about the image in our society and not just of the politicians, but all the way down to us peons. We are a culture of image; products from Escalades, mansions, and designer label clothes to fake hair, fake nails, fake noses, fake breasts and even fake butts. Nothing is real; it is all a façade to cover our imperfections. For politicians, the masquerade is to cover a multitude of sins. The miserable truth is that American people do not care what happens “over there” or to “them” as long as it does not happen to us in our country.
It would be easy for our government to convolute the truth in order to play the people into accepting whatever reality they choose for us. One reason it would be effortless is that North America is physically far removed from the rest of the world and that along with the fact that education is not a priority in America makes it plausible to spin the truth and deliver it right into our hands. Stemming from this, the fact is education has historically been looked at as being a sign of arrogance. This is evident in the nation calling Obama an elitist simply for the fact that he is an educated black man. Our children are even encouraged in this society to dumb down so that they can fit in with the popular crowd at school. If you are an intelligent boy, and more so if you are an intelligent girl, then you are an outcast among your peers. Another reason that it would be feasible for our government to lie to the public in order to cover their tracks is that our media is controlled by mass media conglomerates who give society only their point of view. To add to this, these conglomerates have the finances to lobby the politicians to vote in their favor and as the old saying goes, “scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” Those that control the media are in cahoots with those who wield the power.
I do not have a television in my home; it is a waste of mind. I do not want my children’s intelligence to be sucked up by television, music and video games. The mass media, especially television, has jellied the minds of a lot of Americans. We are programmed just like any other device to absorb what is displayed on the boob tube. It is a cool medium requiring very little interaction from the viewer. It is one of the most inventive tools of suggestion; inputting all the data necessary in order to create and keep us subjugated as debt slaves. Most Americans are not intelligent enough to “wag the tail” and therefore are being wagged.
Lonna jo

Our Crooked Little Apartment

ruminatedreflection — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 14:41:59 +0000

I have a home. Not a house; although it once was. It is a Victorian house that has been dissected roughly into two apartments. I rent the upper half with its thickly brown painted woodwork against white peeling walls. The thread-bare carpeted floors lean one way or another, sometimes giving the suspicion that the house will split wide open. The walls wail when the winds do and cry when the rain pours. If it is cold outside, the sweater jackets are donned in the day and blankets piled in the night, while the heater is running our bill to the hundreds. The summer fairs us no better, wearing as little as possible and the fans trying to supplement for the a/c that cannot possible make up for a lack of insulation.

My home is shot gun style house. The rooms run one to the next with no hallway and no doors. With five children, there is no privacy. Each child shares a room with another and the baby sleeps with me. My husband works many hours and sometimes into the time of fajr, so he has resigned himself to take over the living room sometimes for sleep or he simply falls asleep at the masjid after prayer. There is always noise with so many children sharing a small place and sometimes tempers flare and we bark at each other. And there are days when I cringe at the idea of yet another day in this apartment, but there is blessing in such a living arrangement. Closeness of proximity naturally induces conversation. I can say without a doubt, I know my kids; their likes, dislikes, friends, aspirations and any problems they may face. We are not separated by space and doors allowing us to learn how to communicate effectively and forcing us to do so in a manner that is harmonious to family life. Another benefit is that my children know me and my husband; we can hide nothing and therefore they know our positives and negatives. They know that we strive to be our best but are human with fallacies. In such a home, there is truth and honesty. Yet, perhaps the best appeal of such a home is the way it sparks discourse among our family members. We have in-depth conversations in history, science, religion and culture. It allows me to learn from them, for us to correct each other’s knowledge and to guide them to a better Islamic understanding in a non-Muslim society.

My home is situated in a poor neighborhood that the city has forgotten. Every day, I see the two local prostitutes walk on either sides of the street looking for business. I know the names of the local drunks: Sammy and Kit Kat. Kit Kat riles at us Muslims daily of how he is a Vietnam veteran and will kill us all and Sammy is in love with everyone, especially the prostitutes. The drug dealers are apparent as well in our “hood” with their flashy new cars and constant visitors that pull up on the sidewalk just long enough to make their transactions. Amongst all the madness sits the Al Nur masjid and directly across the street is our little crooked apartment. The mosque is so aptly named for such a dark place. It is a light as a reminder of the akhirah, while the neighborhood is an intense concise reflection of this duniya. I thought about moving…we should move, it is a bad place to raise kids. However, if we moved into a nice neighborhood where everything appears straight, we will succumb to the illusion of this life and chase all that glitters in this duniya, leaving off reflection of death and the Day of Judgment. The Quran reminds us of the dangers of the glitter in this life with several ayat:

“Those who desire the life of the present and its glitter, – to them we shall pay (the price of) their deeds therein, – without diminution.” (11:15)

“And keep thy soul content with those who call on their Lord morning and evening, seeking His Face; and let not thine eyes pass beyond them, seeking the pomp and glitter of this Life; and obey not him whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance, one who follows his lowly desires, whose case has gone beyond all bounds.” (18:28)

“The (material) things which ye are given are but the conveniences of this life and the glitter thereof; but that which is with Allah is better and more enduring: will ye not then be wise?” (28:60)

When in a position that we are not happy with, our first reaction is to struggle harder to alter our situation. It is like fighting slip-not restraints; the more we combat them the tighter they become. This was my initial response to moving to our little crooked apartment. I exerted so much effort to not live in this home, not to do without conveniences and made the mistake of comparing myself with others. I was miserable. And since misery loves company, I was making my children feel the same. I would sit at my window to do my studies and watch the world outside and think of all the adversities in living here… it was all there to see. However, I see the masjid there from the same window and on Jummah I watch all my brothers and sisters in deen stream in with smiles and salutations. In the evening, I see the moon in all her phases pass over the masjid. There is beauty in Islam no matter how unfavorable your situation may be.

It is said that Allah straightens His slave’s means as a reminder. In this duniya we need poignant admonishments lest we forget our Creator. This home of ours is a testimonial to our need to stay on the straight path of our Lord. We do not need the flash and pomp of this life to be happy. Happiness is in the peace derived from worshipping Allah in the best manner and seeking His reward in the afterlife. Inshallah t’ala, we will be rewarded with Jannah (heaven) and there is nothing in this life that can compare to what is in Jannah (heaven). I once had a dream, in our little crooked apartment. In my dream, I was praying behind a man that I did not recognize and a voice-which was also unrecognizable-from elsewhere said to me “salamu fi salawat.” I am not an expert in Arabic, but the gist is clear…there is peace in the five daily prayers. I recall that dream every time I feel the need to move from this apartment. I remind myself of this dream each time I feel that I am not satisfied with my life. I savor in all the details of this dream when I feel the ocean of life crashing against my ribs. Peace of mind does not come from things: fancy home, flashy car or even the glimmer of jewelry and the crispness of new clothes. Peace of mind, heart, body and soul has only one source and that is Allah, subhana wa t’ala (the one and only)and to achieve that you must worship Him in the best manner.

I love my little crooked apartment across the street from the Al Nur masjid. It is my solace from this duniya, renunciation of this world and a remembrance of the Day of Judgment. May Allah help me to remember the akhirah (Day of Judgement) and keep on the straight path of Islam…ameen.May Allah make me and my brothers and sisters in deen (religion), of His beloved and patient slaves and reward us with Jannah (heaven) in which rivers flow…ameen.

Lonna jo

Express Ourselves

ruminatedreflection — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 23:09:00 +0000

Our voices are sonorous and our words are succinct, however we are still not being heard. The ruling power tells us that our communication style is not up to par, when in fact it is simply a matter of our elocution is unlike men. Communication between the sexes is alot like inter-cultural communications, nonetheless the manners of communication of women that are “problematic” seem to be the emotional aspect, questioning, and not being authoritative.

Women are taught not to express certain emotions and that it is legitimate to air others. A “good” woman does not let her anger show, she is to repress it. On the other hand, it is acceptable for a woman to cry if, and only if, she is sad. Men are taught similar rules of emotions with it being appropriate to show anger, but not sadness. So, as humans with an unlimited range of emotions, we are confined by this societal mold. Needless to say, our emotions bubble from these restraints and express themselves inappropriately. We are seen as emotional while the men are seen as overly aggressive. Take in consideration a difficulty I myself have. When angry, I cry. The tears betray me because men see me as overly emotional, when in fact I want to knock the hell out of them. Tears’ flowing is a physiological response that I have no control over. When I was growing up, my dad told me if a man behaved inappropriately toward me that I was to “haul off and knock the shit out of him.” Boy, did I ever take his advice… bloodied many noses and all the boys were afraid of me. Although I was a tough girl, as I got older I fell for the idea that it is unlady like to fight. And perhaps it is uncivilized, but I am left with this crying when I am angered by men’s idiocies. I do not suggest that men go and beat up men, although it may well be deserved sometimes. I do, notwithstanding, believe that this is one aspect of our communication style that needs to rectified. It is also important to note, “women sound more emotional because they use approximately five tones when speaking- and their voices rise under stress. Not only do men have deeper vocal range, they only use approximately three tones.” (h) Our biological makeup cannot be altered, nor should it, albeit w e need to learn to express all our emotions in intellectual ways.
Questions are the tools women use to clarify messages and to obtain more knowledge. Women also use questions to develop a rapport with a person. Men, though, see questions as signs of a woman’s lack of intelligence or indecisiveness. It seems that men are uncomfortable with questions too. It is as if they are being interrogated and makes them feel defensive of their status. The disparity between the sexes when it comes to questions may come from the fact that girls in school are not as forthcoming with answers to teachers questions (again don’t make a scene or draw attention to oneself), giving the impression they are unknowledgeable, whereas, boys are always giving answers which gives the impression they are intelligent. This scenario has a definite impression on their psyches in which by the time they are teens the boys come off almost egotistical in their “all-knowing” attitude and teen girls seem to not know how to hold their own in a debate. Despite men’s objections, I do not think that this is one trait of women’s communications that should be altered because inquisitiveness along with our powers of observation give force to our intuitive wisdom. I once had a professor who had one of the most interesting jobs, she “read” potential jurors. She would observe their nuances and make suggestions to the lawyers along with questions they should ask the juror to see if they wanted to select that person for the jury of their case.
Another element of women’s communication style that has been mooted is lack of authority. This mainly comes in the form of using qualifiers and being “unnecessarily apologetic.” (h) This issue is so plainly apparent in parenting. A mother will say something like, “Ok, you need to clean up your room because it is an absolute mess. You don’t want to live like a pig do you? Well, if you don’t I will tell your Dad.” In contrast, a father says, “Clean up your room, now!” To the point, end of story. Needless to say, regardless of the sex of the children, children listen to their dads and not their moms. I know that I terribly guilty of this and of apologizing for no reason. This frustrates my husband to no end; he does not like when I say “sorry”. In his culture women do not do this and so my husband says it makes him feel that he has made me feel oppressed and this is something he is fearful of God about. The reason why women do this seems inexplicable, unless you think in terms of oppression. Women have been oppressed for thousands of years being even told that we have no soul. Oppression has an adverse affect on people; distorting their essence. Perhaps we have been under the thumb of men for such a long time that we feel it necessary to apologize profusely-having the fallacy that we are in this lowered position for a reason, so therefore we must be repentant to see our way out. We women need to stop doing this to ourselves. We need to be more assertive and as the former Secretary of State, Madeleine Albright stated, “learn to interrupt.” (h)
Women and men communicate differently and we should learn to talk to and listen to one another more effectively. It should be a course like inter-communications. Imagine the marriages that could be saved, the achievements made and daresay the ignorance eliminated. Nevertheless, we should not use man as our measuring stick. That is our first mistake and the one that carries all the other “problems” in our communication styles.
(h) Goman Ph.d, Carol Kinsey. Venus, Mars, and Workplace Communication. http://hodu.com/venus.shtml.

Posted by Lonna jo AlMoctar at 7:09 PM

Body Angst: Custom Built…Sex Tough

ruminatedreflection — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 14:23:00 +0000

We “live in a culture of unrelenting objectification where women’s bodies are used to sell everything,” (B) Brumberg accurately assessed. Girls are “exquisitely sensitive to the cultural pressures surrounding them” (B) and are “shaped by what they saw as little girls on television, at the movies, and in advertising.” (B) The “pressure emanating from American popular culture” (B) has contributed to the body angst of our girls. The media’s effect is apparent when you consider what has happened in Fiji; a country that appreciates the fuller-figured woman. In this island nation, there were only 3% of girls with eating disorders. After satellite television made its appearance, eating disorders rose to 15% in three years. Now, ” 74% of Fijian girls feeling “too fat or big” and 62% had dieted in the last month.”(7) Television, advertising, and consumerism all contributes to the disconnection of woman.

Television is a powerful tool to disseminate beliefs about women when you consider that children watch television an average of three to four hours, (1) which is approximately 1278 hours in a year. The shows geared to children and especially girls give us an idea of what they expect of women. All the leading female characters in the cartoons are exceptionally small, such as Jasmine, Ariel, and Mulan. All fat female characters are portrayed as being evil. Not only do these cartoons reflect the ideal woman as skinny, beautiful and more likely than not, scantily clad, but the ideal person as white. Even in the cartoon Alladin, Alladin is not Arab, but white and the evil Jafar is an Arab. Our other selections of programs are Gossip Girl, Zack and Cody, and Hannah Montana. Well, not much needs to be said about these programs if you have seen them. Gossip Girl is full of stereotypical female behaviors of gossip, backstabbing, etc. Zack and Cody, where the girls are dumb fashionistas who couldn’t find their way out of a wet paper bag. Then Hannah Montana, where being yourself is not good enough, you have to have blonde hair and skimpy clothes to really have a great life. In addition, housewives are characterized as unattractive and dull with their only desire to serve their families on hands and knees and being apologetic for not being better. This “woman” only blames herself when her husband strays to the bimbo bombshell that he pampers and spends money on. Never is asked the question of why he didn’t take care of his wife the same, perhaps she would have been the bombshell if she didn’t have to do it all and sit about being lavished with gifts.
Here in America, “56 percent of women…wear size 14″ (8), while the models in the fashion magazine are “thinner than 98% of all the girls and women in America.”(7) Young girls and even some women are easily manipulated by these fashion icons and believe their self worth is based on how much they can emulate these women. In order to compete, young girls are resorting to dieting, extreme exercising, and starvation. It is no wonder that “86% of teenage girls are on a diet or believe they should be on one.”(7) Even more frightening is that “51% of 9 and 10-year-old girls actually feel better about themselves when on a diet.”(7) As one doctor, aptly put it, these ads should have a label with “caution: this model may be hazardous to your health.”( 5) It is an image we cannot live up to. These women are sculpted with a knife and then again with an airbrush; some hips and thighs removed and some cleavage added. This is exceptionally dangerous when you consider that “5 3 percent of American girls are “unhappy with their bodies. By age 17, that number jumps to 78 percent of girls who are dissatisfied with their bodies.”(4) What is happening is similar to the show, “Pimp My Ride”, except they are pimping out women. These women are hawkers of wares, hustled as eye candy for men’s delights, as well as being a yardstick of an unrealistic beauty. It is the ” Manchurian Candidate” of the modern world with men and women being brainwashed and women’s self-concept being assassinated.
Jean Kilbourne, an advocate of women and slayer of advertising, states quite correctly that ” advertising’s approach to sex is pornographic; it reduces people to objects and deemphasizes human contact and individuality.”(5) This is not just an unexpected result when you consider that advertising is a 100 million dollar a year business. It is in fact, an exact science of how to perpetuate the values and mores of the men who hold the reins of power in our country. The female body is becoming parts, like you find in the junkyard to fix your car. One photo retoucher told Newsweek that the models are all being stretched and their thighs being slimmed. Some parts (legs, hands, and feet) are removed and replaced by someone else’s to give a better overall image. Dismembering women… isn’t that what serial rapists/murders do? Dividing us into parts make it easier to devalue our humanity and easier to commit violence against us. Many ads show women with eyes blackened with makeup and skin white like death…the message is clear to be beaten to death is sexy and beautiful; what a thing to aspire to. The 3,000 ads (9) we are exposed to daily also sexualize our youth by showing very thin women that are to appear prepubescent; the message being that we must be “both sexy and virginal” (5) and when we women cannot conform to this, men inadvertently turn to girls as sex objects. This is evident with the “hoochie momma” clothes found in the girls department along with child size thongs. I am always dumbfounded when I try to shop for my children; girls clothes are barely there showing everything to all and then the boys clothes are oversized and baggy. I do not think males should show their all either, but why does my daughter not have the choice to be modest? Needless to say, I do not purchase those clothes and usually sew her some dresses or longer shirts that she can wear with jeans. The APA finds with ” studies (that) show that when you begin to see yourself as a sex object, it leaves you with fewer cognitive resources to do things like math.” (3)
Women purchase 80% of household products (6) and therefore we are inundated with a barrage of propaganda of what we “need.” We are told to eat chocolate when we need love, buy this diet pill in order to be worthy of love and attention, and smoke cigarettes when we are stressed out from trying their “elixirs”. Not only are these products geared to making us insane, most contain toxins to kill us. Deodorants are prime example of this means to an end. Majority of women’s deodorants contain aluminum, which has been shown to lead to breast cancer and a variety of other health issues. However, browse through the men’s deodorants…very very few contain aluminum. Our minds and bodies are poisoned by advertising and the products they promote. We are buying into a society without morals and virtue has been lost with the glossy pages of magazines. There is even new training for our girls to become consumers of an immodest society- Miss Bimbo. (2) This accurately titled game enables young girls to make purchases for their avatars (which are to be the child’s online image) to get weight loss products, lingerie, and plastic surgery. We women need to realize that with the purchasing power we have, we could very well change this process of dehumanizing women. We could boycott products that are guilty of desecrating women. Remove the televisions and magazines from our homes to eliminate the anti-woman messages from our homes. We have power in our purses and in our rearing of our children and we must make use of that power. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
Lonna jo

"Apply generously to your neck so he can smell the scent as you shake your head 'no.'"

Sources Cited:
1. Children and Watching TV. American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. http://www.aacp.org/cs/roots/facts_for_families/children_and_watching_tv. March 2001.
2. Colville, Liz. The Female Ideal: Images of Women in Advertising. Finding Dulcinea. http:www.findingdulcinea.com/features/multi-day/sitings/15-week-feature/The-Female-Ideal-Images-of-Women-Advertising.html. 6/08/08.
3. Deangelis, T. Toxic America: APA Task Force Decries Culture’s Sexualization of Girls. Monitor Psychology. http://apa.org/monitor/apr07/apatask.html. April 4, 2007.
4. Give ‘em Heck: Local Advocate Devotes Career to Helping Girls and Women Change American Culture. Kennebec Journal Morning Sentinel. http://morningsentinel.mainetoday.com/view/columns/4743716.html. 02/08/08.
5. Kilbourne, Jean. Beauty…and the Beast of Advertising. Center for Media Literacy. http://www.medialit.org/reading_room/article40.html.
6. McCraken, Molly. Women as Consumers. Women & The Economy. http://www.unpac.ca/economy/consumers.html. Fall 2001.
7. Naught, Kelly. How the Media Affects Teen Girls. Instead of TV. http://www.insteadoftv.com/how-the-media-affects-teen-girls.html.
8. Odell, Amy. Recession Causes Stores to Cut Back on Plus-Size Clothes. New York Fashion. http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/06/recession-causes-stores-to-cut.htm. June 2, 2009.
9. Simon, Clea. Hooked. Ms. Magazine. http://msmagazine.com/jan01/hooked_jan01.html. January 2001.

Analysis of The Body Project

ruminatedreflection — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 01:48:00 +0000

The Body Project by Miriam Schneir is an examination of the turmoil of coming into womanhood in America. Brumberg takes an insightful look for the undeniable agents of the demise of women’s self-concept; such as the commercialization of women and the question, “can young women do intellectual work, menstruate and also remain healthy?” (pg. 6) She notes, also, the consequences of this down-turn on our present generation of girls.

The catalyst for ruin of “womanhood’ came in the form of envious men; “Religious” men, Doctors, Legislatures, etc. worked diligently to find a way to use a woman’s power against her. That power being the ability to give life. Men historically have been fearful of that power of women, questioning subconsciously if this power made women divine and them not. Their struggle to oppress us women was made easy with the advent of early onset of menstruation. They chose to claim menses as an illness and imply that we are better off “barefoot and pregnant.” Dr. Albert F. King put this propagation as, “women’s natural state was pregnancy.” (pg.7) Doctors knew they were wrong, but used their medical license as a license to oppress women-using the instrument of our power against us. They went further by reproaching mothers to not interact with their daughters in this important time of life of a girl. Women are the vehicle by which culture is transferred and if we are not intimately communicating to our daughters, our culture is lost…especially the blessedness of women. Men also realized that there was money to be made and therefore created products and “advice” to create a new market of feminine products and cosmetics. This became the beginning of the commercialization of women. Today, not only are products peddled to us women, but women are now used to hawk products to men.
As Brumberg stated, girls today “menstruate earlier than they did a century ago, but they also have sexual intercourse at a younger age” (pg. 4) and that “our society makes no special effort to help girls deal with the lag between their biological and their intellectual development.” (pg.5) The result is that girls today are “less protected and less nurtured then they were a century ago” (pg.5) leading to teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and depression in girls. These problems stem from the mistake of “sanitizing” our menses and not acknowledging it as a part of our reproduction. Perhaps, the worst ramification of the “sanitization” of women is the “egocentric-that is, self-centered-thinking” (pg.5) that plagues our society today. We, as a society, have become very individualistic and only concerned with the superficial things of life. To be educated, in our society, incurs the label of being an elitist. We no longer concern ourselves with introspection, character-building, or even worship. This is a reflection of what I mentioned before; women were shunned and therefore did not transmit the culture to their daughters. In the book, The Red Tent by Anita Diamant, women, of the past, would spend their menses in a tent with hay. Menses was a time of taking a reprieve from duties and enjoying the company and emotional support of other women, however it was also a time of handing down the knowledge of the tribe.
I believe women are quite capable of doing it all, but perhaps it would behoove us to not do it all at once. We are women, not fragile, but hard-working and that in of itself deserves a time of placidity. Imagine a society where women could take time off during her menses just to recuperate from all the sacrifices, pressures, and toil of modern-day life. In my religion, we must pray five times a day, however, during menses we do not. Contrary to the misconception that we do not because our menses is considered dirty, it is because it is a time that women are allowed to take a break. Even after having a baby, we do not pray and for forty days are to rest. In some cultures, elaborate designs of henna is placed on the woman’s hands, arms, feet and legs after having a baby so she will have no choice but to sit down to allow the henna to dry. We women should make a concerted effort to bring back the beauty of our menses and postpartum bleeding. Both are a purification of body and we should allow it to be a purification of what stresses our soul.
The remaining chapters of The Body Project continue the deluge of problems facing “our girls.” She delves into weight management for perfection, disappearance of the hymen and its importance, and what we need to be doing to support “our girls”. There is a Christian saying that states that our bodies are our temples and perhaps this alludes to what we once had. We, women, once treated our bodies with reverence and respect, but now it is “that some young women today regard the entire body, even its most private parts, as a message board” (pg.137); due in part to the “homosexualization of American life.” (pg.132)
The female body has been molded into every possible shape in order to appease men’s desires. The media and even some doctors tell us we are not good enough unless we fit the latest trend. So, girls struggle against what is natural for them in order to be worthy of “love” and “respect.” It has gotten to the point of starvation, over exercise, and self-deprecation. We have bought into the marketed idea that there is some part of us that is “wrong” and needs to be “fixed” by a certain product. When in fact, what needs to be fixed are our cultural ideas of what is beautiful; letting women grow into what their female body was created to be. As a Muslim, I cover my body and hair. It is a matter of self-respect because men cannot see my body and my hair, my beauty, and are forced to judge me on what comes from my mouth and my behaviors, my mind and my heart. Before converting to Islam, I had been anorexic when I was seventeen. I was always raised to be aware of my body and its beauty. It was as if I had no mind to nurture, just make sure I had lean legs, stylish hair, great skin, and a “perfect” bust. It had come to the point that at family funerals, it was more like a fashion show and the praises were not for the deceased but for who looked “gorgeous.” I “blossomed” young and at the age of 14, my mom came to me to ask me what size bra I was now wearing. After telling her, she went to a plastic surgeon and had her size adjusted to mine. Due to my experiences, I vowed to raise my daughter in a different way. I tell her she is beautiful, as she is, but with each compliment of her looks, I give her one of her mind or her behavior. I use specifics, such as her ability to understand math so well, and always tell her how proud I am of this. Another step I took in raising my children is I got rid of the T.V. I was disturbed by what they labeled as children’s shows, where the girls were nothing more than mindless puppets of fashion and the boys were considered less inept in their pompous dribble. Furthermore, were the animated adult shows, like Family Guy, South Park, and The Boondocks. It is incredible to think that these shows are not indirectly
The next issue Brumberg broaches is the disappearance of the hymen. This utterly terrifies me that as a nation we are having a laissez-faire attitude about our young losing their virginity. Brumberg reiterates the male dominance in the hymen’s importance and then eventual loss of favor. I was disgusted by the racist ideology in the study of the hymen and outraged that a rectal exam could possible compensate for a pelvic exam. In doing research on “honor” killings, women in the Middle East are looking for hymenorraphy, repair of the hymen, while some women in America are looking for hymenotomies to make penetration easier. I am a little confused as to why parents do not have rights over their children’s sexuality. If our child decides to skip out of school, we are responsible. However, if our child decides to take sex before marriage, we have no say, although it could kill them or even kill another if they are infected with AIDS. It is ok to commit suicide and murder, but not make a choice to not get an education??? The society says that they are not mature enough to make a choice about education, but they are about sex? Although I do not agree, I can see how lesbianism can be viewed as an alternative to heterosexual relations; girls do not have the support of women today and they are alone in a sea of sharks ready to devour their flesh. They feel safe with women and do not feel the same pressure as they do with men; they are not coerced into just giving satisfaction to the partner. Again, I am thankful for my religion where men and women are separated. This serves two functions, the one to lessen the temptation of immodest behavior, of men and women, and to give women time with women to cultivate friendships and encourage each other in our pursuits in this life and for the hereafter. In Mauritania, the men go off to work and the women work, go to school, or stay home. However, unlike in America, the women always have the companionship of women. The men stay with men and the women stay with women until after the last prayer of the day. The women exude self-confidence and self-assurance that is rare to find among us American women. They are not meek and mild, but a force to be reckoned with. Even in late pregnancy, you will find the women participating in coup d’états in the desert heat. I attribute this to the fact that they have the female support system that is not based on looks, but intelligence, faith, and compassion.
Although, Brumberg advocates a new approach to the problems “our girls” face, she reluctantly admits there is no easy answer to the issues. We need to understand that “freedom” is not in a shortened hemline, lowered neckline, nor sexual liaisons with every man of our choosing. Freedom is being able to be the woman you were intended to be… intelligent, compassionate, and appreciated. In my humble opinion, morals and values are the surest way to save “our girls.” Today’s American values have little to do with integrity and more to do with consumerism and capitalism. The pivotal turn seems to be when we discarded our faith in the omnipotent for more secular attainments. It is again not an easy fix, but perhaps momentum will be our grace if we but turn in that direction. Until then, perhaps if women were able to contribute some time each week to a girl in our family, place of worship, or even our neighborhood to talk and most importantly listen, we will begin to see some positive changes in the girl’s self-concept. Perhaps, we as women could protest the fact that women are scantily-clad in the magazines and weighing such a minimal amount to live. Instead of burning books, lets burn Barbies whose dimensions are so unrealistic: 7’2, 101 pounds, size 4 dress, 39FF bust, 19” waist, 33” hips, and size 5 shoes. We all should wear t-shirts that say “I’m good enough for me and that is all that matters!!”

Lonna jo

Communication of the Sexes

ruminatedreflection — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 13:52:00 +0000

It is apparent that men’s communication is only for what they feel are practical applications. If it is not necessary to get a point across, then there is no need to speak: sometimes this is also the way they filter their listening…not important to them they do not hear it and certainly do not retain the message. Not only do their ears seem to be deaf, but their mouths are mute. Portia is my muse, as I have said similar to my husband:

“Within the bond of marriage, tell me, Brutus,
Is it excepted I should know no secrets
That appertain to you? Am I yourself
But, as it were, in sort or limitation,
To keep with you at meals, comfort your bed,
And talk to you sometimes? Dwell I but in the suburbs
Of your good pleasure? If it be no more,
Portia is Brutus’s harlot, not his wife.”
I am relieved to find that these words are nothing new under the sun. As a woman, and more so, as a wife, it is easy to say that men’s communication skills are wrong, although, it is probably more accurate and also more productive to say that they just communicate differently than women. I would like to know what the divorce rate is based on poor communication alone. I was only able to find that 50% of American marriages end in divorce and that poor communication is one reason given. Interesting to note, according to the Defense Link, divorce among Army officers dropped 61% after implementing a program to teach communication skills. I conclude, with this information, taken as a whole, that lack of communication, poor communication and miscommunication lead to the majority of divorces.

Communication of men and women are vastly different, as is the communication of animals. Flamboyance is a bird’s signature and fluffing gives them their pecking order. The male ant is used to reproduce and then usually dies soon after. The worker ants and leader are female and therefore communication is solely between the “ladies” and is of knowledge to help or of shared intuition. I learned this one evening with a group of Mauritanians. I do not speak hassaniyya, their native language, but can only pick up a few words. The group consisted of a young man of his 20’s, his new bride, her mother (about my age), a woman of her attaché, my husband, and me. The mother is the niece of my husband’s Quran teacher and the wife of the ambassador. She was quite pleased having found my husband the friend of her new son-in-law. The young man became painfully aware of the mother’s respect for my husband and set the stage for a performance to win her favor. He went into the other room where he had changed into the more elaborate, and expensive, traditional dress of their country, which included a very long leather strap fashioned around his waist that is connotative of his authority. He positioned himself standing, with one foot pointed pirouette-style in front of his body, above us as we sat on the floor. He then proclaimed his Quranic knowledge to be greater than that of my husband. The mother shook her head in disbelief as her uncle was the teacher…she would not accept his claim that would put her uncle to shame. During this discourse, we women casually caught each other’s eye, smiling and smirking. The young man persisted, to the obvious displeasure of his new wife. He recited some Quran from his memory, as he is not hafiz (having all the Quran fully memorized) like my husband. When he misspoke, the mother and my husband corrected him; leading to his dismay and causing him to recite, not only louder, but directly in each of their faces, invading personal space. Again, we women looked to each other knowingly, words not necessary. Seeing defeat on the horizon, he resorted to dishonesty, making claim that the tajweed (melodic way of reciting Quran) of one verse was one way, which was not the consensus of the room. He walked to the kitchen for some water. He came back, cell phone in hand and on speaker. On the line, was another Mauritanian, hafiz, agreeing with the young man’s version of tajweed. The young man pleased with this took deep breath and sat down. My husband and the mother only grinned quietly, yet as the night was coming to a close my husband received a call from the Mauritanian that had been on the speaker phone. He apologized to my husband for lying, saying that the young man had called saying he was looking foolish in front of his mother-in-law and would pay him fifty dollars to agree with him on a matter of tajweed. My husband’s cousin says that Mauritanian men talk so much, gesturing with her hands (to mimic talking), that they lie, blowing into her hand.

Perhaps, men are not so talkative with their mates in the home because they know they do not have to be on stage. The woman has married him and therefore has accepted him…show is over, now he can be himself. Outside the home, he still has to assert his manliness, whereas at home he can relax and just take a time of silence and, who knows, contemplation. Instead of being insulted, we should take it as a compliment that our husbands feel comfortable with us and trust us enough to let their guard down. In many religions, there is reference to the home being the man’s castle and the like. I have always seen this as a sexist view, but after reading these selections, began to rethink my position. If a man finds that he must “struggle to avoid the subordinate position” in the outside world, then he comes home to take refuge. We women are their solace; and that is not belittling, but a worthy position. Given this, it is as easy to understand men’s ability to” pour out their hearts” via the net…not only is there the anonymity and perception of not being judged, but it is cathartic to let go to the “world” not just in a dyad. Conceivably, what Michael Crichton said is true, men are the romantics and women are the pragmatics. Women are realistic and inherently are aware that we are the ones that have to compromise, otherwise our relationships will stagnate.

Lonna jo

The History of Women

ruminatedreflection — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 16:18:00 +0000

The History of women has all but been obliberated from our minds. In school we are not educated on the bounty that women have contributed to our society and civilization. I never heard of Sappho until I was in my 30′s reading a novel that had one of the best quotes ever known, “May I write words more naked than flesh, stronger than bone, more resilient then sinew, more sensitive than nerve.” Her along with many others have faded from the pages of textbooks, only to be collected in dustbunnies of our consciousness. Men that rule the world, for fear of an uprising or coup d’etat have usurped women’s position in society and wiped, the greats of our sex, from history. I pray that we will see that women have always granted intelligence and culture to the world and we will make diligent effort to recover our yesteryears contributions. We are not mindless, soulless, and heartless creatures that have just “evolved”. And we shall never be fooled into believing that which men have spoiled of the faiths. We are reverent and we are capable of greatness…let us not forget.

Lonna jo

Thank God Sanger is Long Gone!

ruminatedreflection — Thu, 28 May 2009 04:18:00 +0000

This video is the proposed demographics of the future. Whether or not the future will unfold this way is unclear, however, it is an incredible possibility. Obviously, this group is not pro-Muslim, but thanks to them nonetheless for the interesting information. I can only say thank God Margaret Sanger is long gone dead, otherwise she would be trying to set up her “clinics” not only in Harlem, but Palestine and Saudi Arabia too.